The Poorly Rich! #Part16

"Go to sleep Mallika, it's 3 am." Mom muttered, half asleep.

This was happening from past six consecutive nights. I wasn't able to get that thing out of my mind. It was effecting me more than I thought it would. It was killing me deep inside, bothering every cell within, but I was angry on myself too. How can I let him affect me so much, how can I? 'He shouldn't mean anything to me.' I told myself.
From past six nights, I've been sitting at the same window with my Daisy and my pen. I didn't wish to let anyone get through me, but I wanted to express my despair too. For an extent, I can tell it to mom, and I did but how much and how long. I can't let her get worried too, so Daisy was the only one who could listen to me and yet not say anything but it'll at least hide my feelings in it without leaving me in the middle of no where.
I started writing again,

"Dear Daisy,
You are aware of it right? I've been scribbling the same thing to you from past 6 days or more, maybe; but the turmoil inside me haven't come to rest yet. I still think of him the whole night. Yes! I lied to mom that he doesn't matter but he actually do. Why? Coz he's my father. I'm tired of pretending that I don't care but yes I do. I surely do and nothing can change that.
Though this question haunts me. Is he capable enough to be a father to me? His lines, his words, still haunt me. What made him think like that, I wonder, and I also wonder which other father would have ever accused her girl with such a horrendous blame. I've never expected anything out of him, you know that right? But I never expected this either. Why am I being accused for something I didn't do? It's like making me throwing me off a cliff and then asking me if I'm dead or alive. It's like triggering me to do something I don't wish to do.
I've realized he isn't a father to me. He just can't be. No father ever does that. Let's keep a secret Daisy. I'm disowning him in my heart today. I'm not eligible of doing it legally but yes, he isn't my father anymore. For me, family is just mom now. That's all. I don't want to torture myself with his presence anymore, so it's better that I may not say anything to him. Just stay silent to what ever he says, though I hope he may stop some day.
Love you Daisy! Thanks for listening. :(

#ToBeContinued

#Maisha ❤