A Diary Of An Introvert ~ DAY12!
5th June, 2017
11:00 PM
Dear Diary,
Life has always been a rollercoaster, with more downs than ups. People judge your story by the chapter they’ve walked in for from that moment, they believe they are the soul characters of the story which isn’t true. They feel like they should be prioritised over your own existence.
You don’t ever want to stay the way you are, yet sometimes, the introvert is helpless than be itself, so am I. Sometimes which things which aren’t that big a deal, hurt, and they tend to hurt worse than ever, yet I remain to be silent, conserved, I put up a bright smile, and carry on, not because I wish to hide my pain, but because I’m accustomed to such an act. I tend to hide my pain under the blankets of my own shield but then, when nobody tries to reach out, that my friend is DEVASTATING.
I feel found, yet lost; loved yet lonely; I do not prefer staying that way, for no conversation, or a hand to console, can be more lost than anything else on Earth. It’s more like leaving a thirsty man in the need of water, even though the well is just a few steps away, it seems like the distances could never be walked by.
The emptiness of the uncovered distances, the words left unspoken, might not seem to bother me, but they do, they kill me in a way that a person next to me might not even know. You know what does not talking or avoidance lead to?
It leads to an opportunity for someone else to walk in your shoes and comfort me, and even if I do not allow that someone to, I feel like, I’m in a need of you, and that feeling of being needy is not something I prefer, for as an introvert, I’ve always been in love with the concept of being independent, so being needy is something I really wouldn’t wish to be.
So, understand, there are consequences of what you do, consequences of things which you might not wish to do, for in the end, every little things matter, so does the words which you feel should be left unspoken.
See you tomorrow night
Love,
Aisha!
❤️
11:00 PM
Dear Diary,
Life has always been a rollercoaster, with more downs than ups. People judge your story by the chapter they’ve walked in for from that moment, they believe they are the soul characters of the story which isn’t true. They feel like they should be prioritised over your own existence.
You don’t ever want to stay the way you are, yet sometimes, the introvert is helpless than be itself, so am I. Sometimes which things which aren’t that big a deal, hurt, and they tend to hurt worse than ever, yet I remain to be silent, conserved, I put up a bright smile, and carry on, not because I wish to hide my pain, but because I’m accustomed to such an act. I tend to hide my pain under the blankets of my own shield but then, when nobody tries to reach out, that my friend is DEVASTATING.
I feel found, yet lost; loved yet lonely; I do not prefer staying that way, for no conversation, or a hand to console, can be more lost than anything else on Earth. It’s more like leaving a thirsty man in the need of water, even though the well is just a few steps away, it seems like the distances could never be walked by.
The emptiness of the uncovered distances, the words left unspoken, might not seem to bother me, but they do, they kill me in a way that a person next to me might not even know. You know what does not talking or avoidance lead to?
It leads to an opportunity for someone else to walk in your shoes and comfort me, and even if I do not allow that someone to, I feel like, I’m in a need of you, and that feeling of being needy is not something I prefer, for as an introvert, I’ve always been in love with the concept of being independent, so being needy is something I really wouldn’t wish to be.
So, understand, there are consequences of what you do, consequences of things which you might not wish to do, for in the end, every little things matter, so does the words which you feel should be left unspoken.
See you tomorrow night
Love,
Aisha!
❤️
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