A Diary Of An Introvert - DAY 10!

30th May, 2017

10:00 PM

Dear Diary,

I was lately talking to a friend over messages, and we technically were indulged in an argument, till the time he called up and when that happened, the conversation was now more of a speech because I responded nothing more than, “hmm”, “okay” or “I get it!”. The same question stands back right in my face, why?  

Because, as an introvert, I do not like TALKING.

I never really have been someone who can indulge in talks, specially not small talks, I’d prefer deep, intense talks where we can share our innermost selfs but not like, talk- talk, I’d rather prefer text talks, because gives me the freedom to be myself since I do not prefer interaction and text talks gives me the allowance to speak my mind, after thinking what I really need to write to the other person. 

I never really have been a talker, I’d rather sit back and listen to you all day but talking is the last thing I prefer on my cards. When it comes to sharing feelings, or asking about anything at all, I’d prefer those words on screen than the words on face.

It’s not about why ain’t I confident enough of voicing myself but it’s about preference, and something I just couldn’t come up to do it, because I do not wish to, it’s as simple as that, but more often, I’m judged because of this, I’m considered to be a coward or someone who wish to hide behind this screen, and no matter what one may say, I ain’t bothered, why? Because I’ve realised that I do not need a legitimation of my peers and family to authenticate my existence, I’m happy to be who I am and simply nothing can change it. 

I do prefer the night sky full of stars, rather than fireworks, because the shimmer of those stars are self made, they’ve come into existence independently, they help me learn that it’s beautiful to be yourself rather than someone who isn’t comfortable in the skin they’ve acquired so far. 

I need someone who is comfortable with awkward silences, and doesn’t mind me not talking most of the times. I might not feel lonely by living in my own world, but I certainly do not wish to feel powerless to live in someone else’s world. When you’re an introvert, and have been lonely for a while, and then you find someone who understands you, you become really attached to them, but now, as time has passed by, I believe that too many people owe me my time back because they really didn’t deserve it. 

To know more of an introvert, stay tuned until tomorrow night.

Love,

Aisha!