A Diary Of An Introvert - DAY 3!

23rd May, 2017

10:00PM

Dear Diary,

It’s true, more often than not, whenever I come across the perception of an extrovert about me, I feel that probably they believe that introverts do not like people. Though, being low on the trait of empathy doesn’t mean that a person do not like other people. Such a face of me, is what is called as the #WarmthFacet  under the term of psychology, where it isn’t like I do not like people, but I’m just too selective of the environment I wish to be in.

Warmth Facet, actually brings out that though I do like other people, and can be courteous to them, but it’s hard to know me and I may feel uncomfortable around other people who I don't know well. I do not particularly like it when other people invade into my personal boundaries, and neither do I like to invade those boundaries of others. I preferably show refrain in social situations, and may wait to be approached before approaching others, psychologically, that isn’t a lack of confidence but is just a type of personality I own, since I do not like to be the conversationalist in a situation, I never have since that is something I prefer avoiding, that might be a detriment to the situations I encounter on my personal as well as professional front, but that’s isn’t a part under my control, I just can’t be what I’m not. 

On an honest note, I might not be the very first person you might notice in a party but I can surely be the most interesting soul you may come across, because deep down, in the world which I own, I hold stories and lessons, you might have noticed so far. 

As an introvert, I’m never too expressive of what I may feel of a situation, or something you might have said. I prefer keeping it to myself, for I might love you too much to hurt you, even though, that little thing may have been a prick in my own heart, but for me, I prefer to keep my loved ones close enough than to push them away on petty things. I prefer having more conversations in the head than I do in real life. 

Introversion, develops over a period of time, and through a number of situations, if a person has been repressed all his/her life whenever they’ve opened up with their view, they are tend to be more introvert than the ones who have never been dominated. I’ve been through such situations, hence, HERE I AM.

I have the quality to find beauty in my silence, I believe that only a lonely dark room in the night can bring together my thoughts and views to carry on with the next day. As an introvert, I’m never really truthful about one question which I’m asked a hundred times, “Are you okay?” and for each time I smile and say, “More than ever.” Because making someone understand the turmoil inside my own head is a task in itself which can be too exhausting over which telling things to someone means, you’ll have to deal with their unasked for opinion about your situation, or probably the concern which they hold. Every person has it’s own interpretation of things, something you simply cannot deny, and obviously, cannot make them understand and since an introvert do not prefer conversations, they prefer staying quiet over most of the issues which bother them.

The only drawback such a personality holds is they lose out on personal relationships with an extrovert who might be close to them at one point of time or another, some introverts might save their relationship, but the preference of no conversation for most of them, kills the beautiful bond of human kind which they hold with others, and no matter how much they may try, such situations take away a part of them along with it, making them turn hollow, day by day. 

In the book, The Irresistible Introvert penned by Michaela Chung, has beautifully mentioned, and I quote, “That’s the thing about introverts, we wear our chaos on the inside, where no one can see it.” and I guess, every introvert surely does. 

With that beautiful mention of the chaos, let me bid another adieu to you, only to see you tomorrow, at 10:00PM.

Love,

Aisha!